


On Icy Wings

by pasiphile



Category: Discworld - Terry Pratchett, Monstrous Regiment - Terry Pratchett
Genre: F/F, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-29
Updated: 2014-12-29
Packaged: 2018-03-04 05:34:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2954159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pasiphile/pseuds/pasiphile
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Polly <i>finally</i> finds Mal's achilles heel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	On Icy Wings

**Author's Note:**

> for koni <3

It was another one of those ideas that looked good on paper but was slightly less-than-ideal in practice. Of course, Borogravia notoriously had a lot of rivers and streams and lakes all across the land, and yes, in winter they tended to get frozen, deep enough to be able to cross them, if you wanted. But ice was _slippery_ , which seemed to be something the bignobs hadn’t realized.

Polly chafed her arms. At least they’d updated the uniforms – or rather, given their soldiers any items made of fur they had still lying around. They made her squad looked like lopsided half-transformed werebears, for the most part, but at least they were warm.

(And that really meant _every_ item. Polly was, in fact, rather certain the thing Bunce was currently wearing as a hat was _not_ initially intended to be worn on a hat. Probably somewhere significantly lower. But it kept his ears warm, so…)

But the ice-thing… It wasn’t that bad an idea, if you modified it a bit. Polly had _loved_ ice-skating when she was a kid, before it was banned – yet another fun innocent pastime deemed insulting to Nuggan – and as soon as they announced the plan, her mind had started working. It hadn’t been that hard to find some skates, tie them to her boots. And one careful night of experimenting on the frozen lake near their current camp had confirmed that she did still know how to manage skates.

She did. Others didn’t.

“Bloody – fucking – “ Mal said. One of her legs swooped out from under her and she landed on her arse. Again.

Polly had been laughing for five minutes straight. By now, all she could manage was soundless wheezing and grasping her stomach, bent double with laughter.

Mal shot her an outraged look. “Aren’t you supposed to _help_ your juniors, Perks?”

“I – I will,” Polly choked out between wheezes, “once I’m – ”

Mal made a very rude gesture and got up. Or rather, tried to get up. She still hadn’t gotten the hang of it and her legs swooshed out again. She landed stomach-down with a heartfelt _oof_.

“ _If I die from hypothermia I’m blaming you_ ,” Mal yelled.

Polly straightened up, still grinning broadly. “You’re a vampire, you can’t die of cold.”

“Doesn’t feel like that now.” Mal tried to get up again. Her feet scrabbled at the ice, her arms windmilled around, and somehow she got up onto her feet.

For maybe a whole second.

When Polly was a kid, she had once – out of pure sheer malice, to be honest – taken two pairs of baby socks from the next door neighbour and carefully put them on the paws of their cat. She didn’t even know _why_ this had seemed like a good idea, but the resulting ungainly slipping had been deeply satisfying to watch. There was just something about seeing a usually graceful creature suddenly move like a drunk toddler that made her feel slightly better about the world.

Polly had been strongly reminded of that cat from the second Mal set one of her skated feet on the ice.

She lightly skated over and stopped next to Mal, with a little pirouette. Mal glared up at her. Polly beamed.

She was probably enjoying this a bit too much.

“Alright, up on your feet.” Polly helped Mal up and held her up by the waist.

Mal tilted her chin up to look at Polly. “So are you going to show me how it’s done or are you just going to _gloat_?”

“Fine, fine. Just… You’re still thinking of this as _walking_ , which doesn’t work. You’ve got to _glide_ , see?” Polly let go of Mal – making sure she was steady on her feet – and then demonstrated, skating a quick round across the lake.

When she skidded to a halt next to Mal, the vampire was smiling.

“What?” Polly said suspiciously. Mal smiling usually meant either something bad was happening, or Polly was making a fool of herself.

“Nothing.”

“ _Mal_.”

“You look very graceful when you’re on skates, you know that?”

“Oh.”

It was a good thing she had the temperature to blame her blush on.

“Mind you,” Mal continued, a gleam in her eye, “you also look a bit like an intoxicated bear cub, but – hey!”

Polly smirked down at the suddenly fallen Mal – amazing what a well-placed nudge could do to someone who wasn’t that well-balanced.

“At least I can actually _move around_ ,” Polly said. As usual, Mal had somehow managed to acquire the most stylish of the fur accessories and clothes they’d sent them – either that, or she just made them look stylish. While all the rest of the squad had the appearance of overgrown squirrels with a bad case of hair loss, Mal looked like the sort of person you’d expect to find in a sled pulled by sleek silver horses, drinking something warm and alcoholic while watching the poor peasants freeze their arms off.

“Well, if _someone_ would teach me instead of wisecracking…” Mal said, glaring.

“If _someone_ would show respect to their senior officers…” She twirled and skated idly off again.

“ _Perks_ ,” Mal yelled after her. “ _Get your bony arse back here and help me_.”

Polly mimicked Mal’s earlier rude gesture and continued gliding across the ice. In a moment or two she’d go back, help Mal up, teach her _properly_.

But for now, she just wanted to fly in the cold air with her corporal cursing in the background.

 

 


End file.
